Zensual Gal: From Surviving to Thriving

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential business can be such

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a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, doctor Elise Cortes. Welcome back

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to the Working and Purpose Program.
Thanks for tuning in again this week.

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I'm your host, doctor e Lea's
Cortes. Join you, Lyne from Dallas,

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which is one bay to move.
If you've including it a while,

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you know his program is a thought
leadership series that is designed to enlighten,

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inspire listeners with insights from distinguished business
leaders, the subject matter experts. Our

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conversations are designed to make you think, inspired, to reach ever, hire

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for your own best, and take
an informed approach towards leadership, business and

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life. Today, we're going to
have a great time talking to my guest.

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This is a little bit of a
break from My Normal Fare. My

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guest today is Cherry Elliott Yui.
She is a recovering or a recovered I

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should say, HR executive who lived
in a sexless marriage. After experiencing her

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own sexual healing and awakening in twenty
fourteen, she transformed her career path and

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is now a full time sex and
intimacy empowerment coach, writer, blogger,

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and the teacher. We'll be talking
about her journey from surviving to thriving and

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are seemed to be a released book
called sixty nine of My Dirtiest Secrets Awaken

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your Central Goddess She Knows today from
Frisco, Texas. Sherry, my dear

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friend, Welcome back to working on
Purpose. Thank you for having me,

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and quite a different topic we're going
to talk about tonight than we usually talk

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about. Yeah, we've covered the
gamut of I think we think we've done

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generational things. I think we've talked
about how to get stuck at when you're

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at a road at crossroad, and
we've given thanks around Thanksgiving, and this

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time we get to give thanks for
you and your own trends, information and

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coming through the other side. And
I first want to say for the thirteen

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years that I've known you, I
really, really, really applaud and appreciate

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what you're doing sharing. This is
true authenticity at its finest. Thank you.

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That's very kind of you to say, and I really appreciate that.

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But this has been one that you
know, I've wrestled with for a long

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time, and it's not one I
took lightly. And it was a lot

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safer if I would have just stayed
within my own little hula hoop in the

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HR world, which would have been
great. But then I got called into

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writing books, and then I started
doing generational work and that got real uncomfortable.

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But nothing has been more uncomfortable for
me in my life than working on

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this book and this movement because it's
required that I step out and share my

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story in my truth. Because I'm
not a doctor, I'm not a PhD.

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This isn't something I've done all my
life, but it's my story that

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I feel like is giving other women
permission to stand up and heal from their

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pastsolutely. And one of the things
that I often say, Sharon, I'm

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sure you've heard me say it before, is that especially when we answer our

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calling, we answer that which we're
being called to do it's not always convenient,

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and I know that we've talked before
that this wasn't necessarily something you wanted

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to do, and we'll talk more
about that as we go along here,

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but I just want to applaud all
more reason that you're stepping into your authenticity

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and just being real and raw and
vulnerable. I read, of course your

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book cover to cover, as you
know I do. I learned more things

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about you in that book that I
didn't know the thirteen years we've been acquainted

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and than dear friends, and so
your own path to embrace being a zentual

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gal is just phenomenal. So I
wanted to be one of the first to

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get to share that share you with
the world and show what it looks like

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when you really show up in the
world as an authentic human being. Thank

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you, Yeah, you're welcome,
my dear. So I think it makes

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a lot of sense and a couple
of things that I want to call out

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about the work you're doing, and
well it'll become more apparent to our listeners

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and viewers as we talk, But
really just to focus on empowering women to

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come into their own zenual as you
say, in educating and empowering couples in

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their intimacy, which of course is
fantastic. And I'll say more about why

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I think that's important as we go. But for our listeners and viewers who

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don't know your story, haven't read
your book yet like I have, would

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you share a bit of your own
unfold and in transformation. There's been a

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lot of things along your journey that
happened to help catalyze Shay Eliot Eerie.

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Yeah, thank you. It's interesting
because I look back at some of the

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things that gave me this opportunity,
and one of the biggest changes, honestly,

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was my divorce eight or nine years
ago, and I thought I married

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the man of my dreams. I
thought this was it. You know too,

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I remember that. I thought you
did, Yeah, you knew you

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were there, and I thought,
Okay, this is it I have you

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know, this is this is forever
and ever amen. And three years later,

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when it ended up not forever and
ever, amen, I was like,

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well, what did I do wrong? And why why does he not

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love me anymore? You know,
I gave everything I had, BODI,

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soul, finances, everything, and
that was the problem. Quite honestly,

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I gave everything of myself and I
left me somewhere back once I said I

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do, And so once the marriage
ended, I was like this shadow of

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myself and it took a while for
me to figure out who I was again.

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And that was something that I really
saw when I was at my divorce

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attorneys and there was other women there. They were like these papers and images

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of women. You know, it
was like we were walking dead, right.

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We were all these ghosts of our
prior self. And I was like,

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that's what we're doing. We are
just checking out, leaving ourselves the

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minute we put the ring on the
finger and we forget who we are.

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And that's the person that our partner, our spouse, whoever it is,

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fell in love with. And so
that's where zentual Gal got burked from.

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It was the whole idea of finding
that zen for ourselves and living this sensual

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life and living and doesn't mean anything
to do with being married and a committed

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relationship. It's just living this turned
on lit up life. Completely understand that,

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because you know my space today is
passion, inspiration and purpose. I

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completely see that. I understand very
much, which is one of the reasons

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that you and I have sinced and
I think in some ways have started to

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head more of a parallel path around
really awakening people to passion. So for

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you, your journey though, and
this is important for our listeners and our

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viewers to understand, is your journey
goes way back. Share if you can

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just share a few things that you
share in your book that are what I

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would consider to be very raw and
painful about your passage you've had to navigate,

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starting with how you grew up.
Would you share? Absolutely? Absolutely,

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I want to share it. Quote
and this is one that really stays

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with me by An Lamont. When
God is doing something, he starts off

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with a hardship. When God is
going to do something amazing, he starts

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with an impossibility. So my life
has been a lot of impossibilities. So

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that's why that quote really stands out
for me. And So I grew up

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in Canada, and I was raised
by a mom who lived on welfare,

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and I was the oldest of four
kids. I was sexually abused as a

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child. I searched out and found
my own adopted family by the time I

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was twelve years old. Because that's
just the way I do things. I

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just figured them out and I'm going
to make sure it happens, and I

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graduated high school at sixteen, went
to college, and I took care of

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my three younger siblings, became their
financial guardians. And I decided that by

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the time my daughter was two,
after I lost a child, I was

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going to stay single, and I
moved to the United States, and she

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became my one and only important focus
in life. And again it was I

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believe that that was my sole responsibility. And when my daughter turned eighteen,

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I figured out that she was a
drug addict and she was addicted to meth.

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She got it at a college here
in Dallas, a very prominent college,

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and I started a campaign of working
to help the DEA and other mothers

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unders and what to look for in
the science, because my daughters continued to

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struggle on and off for the last
twenty years with addiction. Because math is

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very difficult to overcome. I left
my corporate role in HR almost twenty years

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ago. Eighteen years ago according to
LinkedIn and the three gentlemen that wanted to

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go into business with me. One
day I was deciding, and I was

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looking at some of my clients and
I thought, you know, I was

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thinking about writing a generational book,
and so I told the three gentlemen that

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I wanted to step back from my
HR practice and I was working on this

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book. Well, as soon as
I mentioned this book, the next day,

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I was locked out of my office, out of my computer, everything,

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and they filed a lawsuit against me. So you know, it didn't

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really do anything to help make me
trust men a lot at that point.

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So next thing, you know,
I decided to hang my own shingle.

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And so all of these were these
impossibilities that kept showing up for me,

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you know. And I'm an introvert
actually, and so Alisa and I have

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this running joke because you know,
we'll go speak together and I'm like,

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give me my cocoon. I just
want to go inside. And at Leasa's

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like, hey, everybody, you
know, let's talk. Let's talk.

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And so that's not the way I
do things. And so to be a

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motivational speaker, it was another huge
hurdle for me because I was like,

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well, I really believe in my
book and my message, but I don't

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really want to do that. So
all of these impossibilities to me have been

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the opportunity that brought me here today. And I could look back at all

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those things that have happened to me
and be a victim in my life.

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Or I could look at it and
go wow, I've written several books.

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I've had this huge blessing to be
able to stand here today and be in

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this space to do the work I'm
doing, And so I choose to look

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at it that way. And this
is what's so good about that. Let

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me let me give a quick little
teaching for our viewers and our listeners as

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a logo therapist, is that what
you have to surface there is one of

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the ways that we find meaning in
life. It's a source of meaning,

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and that is the attitudinal stance we
take when life throws what it does at

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us a choice in every single moment
to choose that attitude. What you're demonstrating

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is the way that you chose to
take that attitude was one of I'll get

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through this. You're a fighter.
It wasn't going to it was not going

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to tear you down. And the
other thing that I think is amazing about

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the way you're telling your story share
is that I've never heard you say before

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about life serving up impossibilities and you
confronting them. But that's exactly right.

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That's how I would That's how we
describe it. And even when you started

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to speak, that was not a
fun experience for you. Starting on speaking,

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you hated it, You absolutely hated
it. And look what you're doing

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now and here what do you have? Honey, books out? Seven books

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seven, seven, I'm working on
eight. And so what I also really

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want to showcase for people that are
listening and watching is just how you have

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just boldly done life right, just
stepped into it. And that is one

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of the other things I want to
celebrate about to Sherry, thank you,

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and you know we talked about this
last year and one of the things I

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want to stand for, especially because
I have a seven year old granddaughter and

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you know how my connection is with
her, and I want her to know

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that she can go out and do
anything she wants anything, And you know,

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I want to matter, and I
want to matter to her if it's

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for anybody, I want her to
know that she matters and that she can

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do anything. And so that to
me is what keeps me doing things differently

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and boldly because I want her to
know that she has that too, She

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can do whatever she wants to do. That's an option, absolutely, it

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is, and we need to call
it just about this moment, don't we,

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ladies and gentlemen. What a sexy
grandmother you are. Goodness, thank

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you, Graham. Graham. Okay, so now we got to know.

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I mean I watched you struggle with
this for quite some time. Sure,

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I kept saying, is it ready? Is it ready? Is this book

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ready? And you know you were
in the trenches on this thing. Why

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did you write this book? Yeah? Yeah, it was hard keeping your

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back, Misslise, I got to
say, because she kept asking. And

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you know, seven years later,
it's been Yeah. You know, I

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felt like I was given this time
when COVID happened. You know, it

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was a month before COVID that I
started going, Okay, I'm doing this

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and I took all the data and
put it together that I'd been bringing in

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for seven years. And then COVID
got really crazy in March, and I

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went, Okay, so my whole
speaking career has gone. All my gigs

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had just pretty much left us,
as we all know, and so my

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revenue, my calendar, everything,
and I went, oh, okay,

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I get the message. And so
it really did. It just opened everything

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up and I went, so what
do I have to fear everything that I

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would have said, well maybe not, oh maybe not, maybe I'm too

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busy, Oh what will people think? It all went away, and so

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I went ah. So now we're
at one hundred and sixty page manuscript in

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the final editing process. And it
isn't just one book, it's three books

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that has all happened since February.
That's how it works when you are following

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your passion and purpose. And that's
you know that I do because I got

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a similar sort of message and and
tap on the shoulder too, And then

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my book is now at the publishers
having gone through three rounds of edits,

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and yes, this is the response
to COVID. Yes, ma'am, I

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get it, and we will all
be the benefactors of that. Thank you,

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Sherry. So I want to talk
about what you're doing in your practice

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in your book here, and it's
so important. I took some notes obviously

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on this, but you say that
the aim of your book and your consulting

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practice is to help women come home
to themselves and live a zentually empowered life.

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I love that. Who's going to
say no to that? Now?

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I think I'll pass somebody else.
No, thank you not today to really

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empowered, So tell us more.
This sounds amazing and I think it's so

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important, And I'm going to time
in why I think it's important after you

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tell us why this is so for
you? Well, I was ask someone

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what's your sex life like? You
know, and straight out, straight out,

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let's trust me. It's kind of
fun. And you know this.

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You go to a party and someone
says, what do you do or what

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do you write about sex? They're
like, tell me more. You know,

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I ask someone what's your sex life
like? And they're like, oh,

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well, you know, once a
month, you know, I can

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tell you what that person shows up
like in the world, what their work

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is like. You know, if
you spend three or four hours running a

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week, right or exercising a week, but you spend one hour a week

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in your intimate relationship with either your
partner, your lover, or yourself,

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where's the balance, right? And
so if that's all you're spending getting to

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know yourself and you're spending all this
time at work, et cetera, et

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cetera, where's the investment in yourself
and that type of intimacy. That's the

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difference in how you show up in
the world too. There's a correlation to

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that. If you don't feel sexy
and you don't feel confident. You know

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how you feel when you run and
you get those endorphins, you feel on

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top of the world. But if
you don't feel sexy from the inside out,

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that's how you show up. I
call them curmudgeons. But you know,

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there's obviously a few other colorful works
for people like that. I've been

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there. I know after my divorce, I wasn't feeling a whole lot of

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hotness. Let me tell you.
I was looking to licking my wounds in

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the corner, you know, with
my big old bottle of wine forget laugh.

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Probably, So it's like, let's
turn the sexy back on, and

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let's do that. And it takes
effort, and it takes investing in ourselves.

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It does, and I want to
talk more about that, but let's

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grab our first break. We've been
in the air with Sherry Elliott Eurey.

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She is the zentual gal. She's
been talking a bit about her own journey

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from surviving to thriving and her book. We'll talk more about what she's actually

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doing with couples intimacy after the Raak
stay with us. We'll be right back.

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Doctor release Cortez as a management consultant
specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational

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speaker and author. She helps companies
visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop

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purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures
that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment

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within the workforce. To learn more
or to invite a lot to speak to

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your organization, please visit her at
eliscortes dot com. Let's talk about how

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to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor

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Elise Cortes. To reach our program
today or open a conversation with Elise,

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send an email to Elise Alise at
eliscortes dot com. Now back to working

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on purpose. Thanks for staying with
us. Welcome back to working on purpose.

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If you're just joining us. My
guest is Sherry Elliot Yury. She's

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a recovered HR executive who lived in
a sexless marriage. After experiencing her own

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sexual healing and awakening in twenty fourteen, she transformed your career path and is

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now a full time sex and intimacy
environment coach, writer, blogger, and

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teacher. She's the author of sixty
nine of my dirtiest secrets. Awaken your

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sensual Goddess. I'm your host,
Elise Cortes, So Sherry. One of

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the other things that I really wanted
to share with our listeners and viewers that

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I think is so important about the
work that you're doing is is you're really

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working on helping couples re establish and
deepen their intimacy. And of course,

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as a divorced woman, I've been
divorced for four years, that might have

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helped. I might have helped,
say about four years ago before we actually

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went our separate ways. So say
more about what you're doing to help couples

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develop that intimacy. Well, a
lot of times, for especially for our

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generation, at least people in our
generation will have at least two or three

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significant relationships, if not marriages.
Hopefully it's within the same person with the

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same person, right, So two
or three significant relationships, but it's helpful

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if it can be within the same
committed relationship. But it takes the communication

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and you know, we have that
ebb and flow. It's not always going

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to be that hot, fiery,
you know, amazing relationship. Hopefully it

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is, it's not always and so
during that ebb and flow. It takes

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the communication skills, it takes that
interest. And so having that opportunity where

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people feel safe, where they can
share what are some of their intest some

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of their fantasies, that's really really
important, and that's where people start to

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end up where they don't feel comfortable. They're like, Okay, well you

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know it's Wednesday night. You know
this is what we normally do every month

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or whatever it happens to be.
I was listening to doctor Ruth this morning

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because I just love her, it
doesn't love her. And one of the

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funniest things she said this morning was, Ladies, I know sometimes mister likes

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it more than you do. So
you know what you do some of those

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times it takes two to three minutes
to make him happy and then you get

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to go to sleep when we all
use take a woman a lot longer.

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So I say women are like slow
cookers and men are like microwaves. Now

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we need to help tell men and
maybe do some how to videos on what

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it takes to make us happy,
pleasurable, what gets to us turned on

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and lit up because they we don't
have a manual that comes with us.

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We need to show them. We
need to give them that instruction. We

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can't just expect to know what we
want all the time. Absolutely right.

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I was just talking with one of
the women that I'm coaching, and I

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was explaining to her how we have
to teach everyone in our life really how

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we want to be treated and communicated. That's all over work. That's in

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a relationship with her children, with
her lover, everyone. How to your

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point, how else would they know
that's right, that's right, And especially

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in you know, romantic and physical
relationships. Some people like some things and

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some people like something different, and
you know, not everybody knows this.

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So we need to be open,
vulnerable, authentic, and that's it,

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you know, that's one of the
ways I said about where I lost myself

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before. Do you like Mexican yes
or no? You don't go into a

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relationship not telling the truth about what
you like and what you don't. That's

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not your authentic, vulnerable self,
because you're going to get confused later on

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when you're in the relationship. You
are And in fact, I have to

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quote this, I love what you
say. You're in the book. You

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say you say you believe that,
you believe that having healthy fulfilling relationships and

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working toward a pleasure fiel creative life
for every one of us is the key

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to creating a much kinder world.
Sounds good to me, say more,

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I just have to say, when
we are all feeling fulfilled, that's a

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whole different way of being in the
world instead of pent up, aggression,

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anger. I mean, when you
go through the transitions of life, when

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we are not connected, not joyful, I mean, that's a totally different

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way of being than when our relationships
are working, When we have self love

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and when we are connected to self
and we feel confident, that's a whole

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different type of world. When you
walk out the door and you feel like

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that, that's an amazing way to
get in your car, and when you

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go to work, or when you
say hello to the barista, or when

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you go to the exercise place,
or when you go to get your dry

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cleaning. That's a major impression in
the world. And again I go back

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to what I said about you impacting
the divorce rate. So many couples and

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I was married for together eighteen and
married for sixteen, and definitely we all

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lose that immediate ability to talk about
what's important to us. And what's tender

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and vul vulnerable for us, and
so it just happens that you just start

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to go your separate ways. And
so I love what you're doing to be

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able to bring couples back together and
get them talking about what's important to them

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about their intimacy. I just think
that's such important work. It is,

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and I think it's also given common
language. And I didn't realize this until

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I started working on this for myself. I could physically be present for intimate

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relationships, but don't ask me to
bring my emotions into it. So it's

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taken this last five years again for
me to really do a lot of healing

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myself to understand that there's two parts
to it. And so even in relationship,

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there's a lot of vulnerability that's required
for a woman to be totally one

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hundred percent vulnerable and present with a
part with a lover. And so there's

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a lot that goes into coaching and
working with couples because it's not just that

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our physical self shows up right,
that tender, laid bear soul is in

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there too, right, Absolutely,
I'm with you, all right, So

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the next thing I have to know, and I'm sure our listeners and viewers

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are wanted to know the same thing
here is, how did you come up

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with the idea of sensuality? What
does that really mean for you? Yeah,

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So when I was going through my
divorce, it was around Christmas time

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and our house was up for sale
and my x and ized anniversary was January

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first, so it's a beautiful timming
year to go through a divorce, and

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I decided to do what was the
best thing I could is to run off

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and lick my wounds in a different
part of the world and take a solo

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vacation, which was so smart because
going away alone, especially for three weeks

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over the holidays in another country,
was like getting me outside every comfort zone

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I'd ever had. And I was
laying on the beach in Cancun, and

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I was watching the water and the
tide was coming in and out and the

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waves. It was very hypnotic and
I was just like I was zend out

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and it was so relaxing, and
I thought there was no effort, there

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was no fight, no struggle,
and I really thought about the whole zen

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And as I walked up and down
the beach, I felt sensual, connected

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to the earth, the water,
the sky, the sun, and I

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felt sexier in that moment going through
my divorce and nobody. I felt like

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nobody wanted me, and I went
Zensual. I got online right away because

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I believe in following the hints,
and Zenual was an open website, and

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I bought the domain. I bought
about seven domains with the word xenual seven

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or eight years ago, in two
the beginning of New Year's twenty fourteen.

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That's why you've been asking me since, and I started writing Erodica stories.

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I remember fogs in twenty fourteen on
that vacation when I took my very first

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long solo trip and it was one
of the best healing trips I could take

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in for myself, and there was
moments of pain and discomfort, but it

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was that's where the healing began.
Oh, a couple of things and right.

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So I do think that what I
want to call it for our listeners

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and viewers, because oftentimes people ask
me, at least, how do I

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find meaning? How do I find
purpose? So much of it is going

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inward and listening to your what your
soul and your heart is trying to tell

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you, and stop trying to talk
yourself out of it, which you did

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by yourself in Mexico. And the
other thing I want to call out that

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you're talking about is the importance of
writing that. I don't want to say

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menia, but the discomfort there,
you can't you can't know it away.

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You've got to go with it if
you can. If you can hang on

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to that discomfort and the all out
pain on the other side of that is

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something really good. And that's what
you've been describing. Yeah, yeah,

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And like I said, those if
you can go through it and walk through

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it and you can go get on
the other side, there's such beauty and

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grace, and that's where the jewels
are. I mean, that's me where

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the magic is. And I just
remind myself going through those moments that there

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is light because I'm a sparkle kind
of gal, you know, I want

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to see the jewels on the other
side, and I know they're there,

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and I know it's going to be
so much better that I can remember that,

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And that's the beauty of it,
because I have no interest in staying

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right where I am today at all, and you never have stagnant, so

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I'm not interested in that. So
it's what's next what's next. In fact,

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here's what's really interesting. Share.
Let me take you back for just

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a quick second. Remember when I
was going through and I had to take

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my modes of engagement assessment, and
you came out as self actualizing, which

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00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:32.319
I had been for a long time
too, which is the mode of engagement.

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This is from my own research,
ladies and gentlemen, that I did

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for my PhD and then post doc, and I found these fifteen modes of

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00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:41.119
engagement, and yours, like mine
for the longest time, was self actualizing,

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which is where we use our life
and our work and experiences, lean

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00:25:45.160 --> 00:25:48.079
into them for everything that we can
to be able to realize our higher potential,

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our higher selves. You were doing
that, and you've been doing that

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00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:52.880
for a while, so have I. Now I'm on the other side where

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00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:56.759
I'm living my purpose and some things
happen for you too. You've come through

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00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:00.559
something too. I don't know if
you feel if you're living your purpose yet

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00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.240
or not. Maybe you are,
but you're definitely not in that same self

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00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:07.279
actualizing Only two were before. No, No, it's very different, and

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00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:11.640
I think some of it, honestly
is. The real discomfort also came when

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I got remarried. It was like
I bumped up against something that made me

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00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.319
have to look in the face of
somebody who went, you don't get to

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00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:26.279
run, and here I am,
I'm not going anywhere, and I went,

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00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:30.680
oh, oh, I wasn't expecting
this, And so you know there's

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that too. It was requiring of
me another level of vulnerability and commitment.

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And I was starting a dating coaching
business for women like me who had gone

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through a divorce in their mid forties. And I was interviewing men all over

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Dallas because I want to know their
opinion on women's dating profiles. And I

404
00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:56.359
meet from my now husband and I
was like, this wasn't planned, this

405
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was not the idea, and here
we are almost four years later. So

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that took me into a whole other
level. And I remember really enriched my

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00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:11.000
work with the idea for couples because
it's really put that practice. It took

408
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:17.279
me from being single and developing my
self love and appreciation for that into what

409
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:21.240
it's done in my marriage. So
speaking of that, one of the other

410
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:23.720
things I wanted to ask you,
because you say somewhere in your book that

411
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:27.480
the book that you've written is is
largely for women and I certainly see that.

412
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:32.880
I also can certainly see how men
benefit too. Oh absolutely, I

413
00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:37.599
say for women, because I say
senual goddess. Now it's not gender specific

414
00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:41.480
at all. But I also believe
a lot of the information I share would

415
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:47.960
be so helpful to men who are
interested in relationships with women, or some

416
00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.039
of the information of my father in
law, retired physician, you know,

417
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:55.319
he said, a lot of this
is very helpful too from a physician's perspective

418
00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.279
because there's some very specific medical terms. But I think it's it's helped all

419
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:02.880
the way around. Like I said, I'm hoping to have more videos and

420
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:07.039
information on manuals on the website.
But I think the more information men can

421
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:11.200
have and learn about us, the
better it's going to be, and the

422
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:15.680
more equipped to you'd be to be
successful in the bedroom and out. I

423
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:18.319
like it, you know. I
like that little a little zesk goes a

424
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:22.119
long way for middle zest a little
say and a little body absolutely goes a

425
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.799
long way for me. All right, I want to I want to get

426
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:26.119
another quote from your book that I
thought was just so yummy, and have

427
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:30.920
you talk about that? So you
say, and I quote dynamic individual growth

428
00:28:30.920 --> 00:28:34.720
and transformation are available when a woman
fully connects with her sensuality and orgasmic potential.

429
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:38.640
When this happened, she inevitably experiences
a flood of new life force energy

430
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:44.079
plus the surge of creativity. This
typically creates a profound shift in her intimate

431
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:48.400
life that pours out of every part
of her world. Yes, say more

432
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:52.480
about that feels so good? Doesn't
it doesn't? I just love it?

433
00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:56.359
I know well, And I think
that was part of what I said about

434
00:28:56.359 --> 00:29:00.640
connecting to myself is you know,
I was really good. I should want

435
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:06.000
an oscar honestly about learning to fake
it? You know, honestly I was

436
00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.759
a sexual anorexic. I looked really
good and said it really well, but

437
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.759
honestly, that wasn't really my thing. And I felt like I was missing

438
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:17.039
out on something. And you know, I was like, how come everybody

439
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:18.480
else seem so happy? Why does
this sound so good? You know?

440
00:29:18.599 --> 00:29:22.319
And I just really felt like I
was missing out sound something. And I

441
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:25.960
was approaching my fortieth birthday and I
was like, there's something to this and

442
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:30.599
I really wanted to understand. And
the more I got in touch with myself

443
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:33.480
and the more in tune I got
with my body. The more I realized

444
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:40.920
it is a life force. It
is something to be cherished and to understand

445
00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:44.640
it is not a woman. When
she can connect with that life force,

446
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:49.000
she is unstoppable. She has a
glow about herself because once she can do

447
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:55.599
that for herself, she can show
her partner, and she is beyond capable

448
00:29:55.720 --> 00:30:00.519
of anything else. She is creative. She opens up all of her energy.

449
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.759
Well, and I really appreciate that. Understand that because you know the

450
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:07.519
work that I've done too, and
myself after I got divorced. As you

451
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:10.640
know, you were part of that
journey. And you're right. When you

452
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:14.720
cultivate that aspect of yourself, your
own creativity, your own sexuality, your

453
00:30:14.720 --> 00:30:18.680
own connection to your own being,
it is amazing what happens around creativity,

454
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:22.839
expression, your energy in life,
and who you draw into your circle.

455
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:26.279
It is amazing, absolutely, And
it's fun too, because there's been times

456
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:30.440
that I'll get dressed up and I'll
walk into just a Starbucks, even for

457
00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.960
something for fun and giggles, and
I'll just walk in and I'll just be

458
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:37.680
like, I want to see who's
going to look at me today? Just

459
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:40.519
for fun, And it's not because
I know I'm Mary it's not for that.

460
00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:44.359
And I know I'm a Grams,
but it's just who can I get

461
00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:47.799
to just you know, I just
want to feel sexy today. I just

462
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:51.319
want to feel powerful. I just
want to feel you know. And it's

463
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:56.240
that. It's nothing about wanting sex
with somebody. I just want to feel

464
00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:00.119
sassy. I just want to get
whatever it is. And you know it's

465
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.960
very helpful too. And what we
do for work speaking, we want that

466
00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:07.720
connection with our audience. It's nothing
to do with sex. It's we want

467
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:11.799
to have connection. We want to
be able to do that absolutely. In

468
00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:15.039
fact, what I was thinking about
when you were talking about that, Cherry

469
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.720
and I do that too, because
what either way I say that is that

470
00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:21.799
is you're flirting with life. You're
flirting with other people, and people on

471
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:25.720
the receiving the end of that are
catching your energy and so they're being seen

472
00:31:25.799 --> 00:31:30.000
too, right, And so it's
a beautiful exchange of energy and connection and

473
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:33.559
recognition of the other person that I
think is really beautiful and fun. And

474
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:36.960
to your point, it's not about
hey, I want to take you home

475
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:38.640
and have sex with you. It's
just about let's celebrate this moment you're in

476
00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:41.759
it. I'm in it with both
alive. This is amazing right to me,

477
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.440
and I don't even have words to
that. When you and I met,

478
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:48.079
we didn't even have words. We
just said, we like fell in

479
00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:51.640
love with each other. We didn't
even know we did, but we didn't

480
00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:55.640
know, you know, And now
we know the energy, you know,

481
00:31:55.720 --> 00:31:57.039
we know what that was. But
you know, back then we said we

482
00:31:57.079 --> 00:32:00.559
fell in love with each other,
which we did, but now it's so

483
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:04.519
much deeper, and I get it
now. I do too. In fact,

484
00:32:04.559 --> 00:32:07.720
I actually just recently learned what part
of is underneath that, and I'll

485
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:10.160
share it with you and the listeners
and viewers. It's called limbic resonance.

486
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:15.200
So what it's It turns out that
isn't that awesome limbic prisoness. There's actually

487
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:19.039
way you're for it. And so
what happens is our emotions and our meaning

488
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.160
systems register on the limbic brain level, and that's the mammal brain, so

489
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:27.759
the middle center brain. So what
happens is that's where our meaning is registered

490
00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:30.279
and it's anchored around an emotional topic
for us, that's its anchoring point.

491
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:34.160
That's why it reads so important for
us. And we feel the way that

492
00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:37.680
we do when with something is meaningful, and then when we're with other people

493
00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:42.079
who share a similar sort of sort
of meaning structure, what happens is our

494
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:45.640
limbic resonance is happening on the same
level. There's like a vibrational connection that

495
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:50.119
happens between people. Isn't that cool? That's cool? Yeah, cool,

496
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:52.759
Yeah, I like that. I
got to you might so me too.

497
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:57.920
That's I'm right. Let's let's and
on that note, let's go ahead and

498
00:32:57.920 --> 00:33:00.880
wrap our last break. I'm your
host at least as we're gonna with Sherry

499
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:05.160
elliott Eri. She is a sex
and intimacy empowerment coach, writer, blogger,

500
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.759
and teacher. She joined you today
from Frisco, Texas. We've been

501
00:33:07.799 --> 00:33:12.359
talking about her journey from survival to
thrible, and after the break, we're

502
00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:15.200
going to talk more about some of
the essential ingredients that she uses in her

503
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:19.759
work to ignite energy at Erotic Energy. Stay with us, We'll be right

504
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:24.480
back. Doctor Elise Cortes is a
management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose and

505
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:30.680
inspirational speaker and author. She helps
companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and

506
00:33:30.759 --> 00:33:38.359
develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused
cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance and commitment

507
00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:43.640
within the workforce. To learn more
or to invite Elise to speak to your

508
00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:47.519
organization, please visit her at elisecortes
dot com. Let's talk about how to

509
00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:59.000
get your employees working on purpose.
This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise

510
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:02.880
Cortes. To reach our program today
or open a conversation with Alise, send

511
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:10.639
an email to Alise Alise at elisecortes
dot com. Now back to working on

512
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:15.480
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to working on purpose

513
00:34:15.559 --> 00:34:17.159
if you're just tuning in. My
guest is Sherry eliot Urie. She's a

514
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:22.719
recovered HR executive who lived in a
sexless marriage. After experiencing her own sexual

515
00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:25.559
healing and awakening in twenty fourteen,
she transformed her career path and it's now

516
00:34:25.559 --> 00:34:30.440
a full time sex and intimacy empowerment
coach, writer, blogger, and teacher.

517
00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:32.800
She's the author of the book called
sixty nine of My Dirtiest Secrets,

518
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:37.199
Awaken Your Centual Goddess. I'm your
host, Aalise Cortes. So let's get

519
00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:40.119
a little technical specific, shall we. We've been talking about this good,

520
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:44.719
juicy stuff called sex now let's go
a little bit deeper here under that.

521
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:49.519
So in your book, you offer
six essential ingredients that work together to ignite

522
00:34:49.559 --> 00:34:52.920
your erotic energy, personal power,
cential intelligence, to enable your sentual empowerment.

523
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:58.559
I love that, So share with
those those six ingredients and why they're

524
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:02.440
important components. I tried to look
back at, like what were the key

525
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:07.519
ingredients, like if I was making
a cake. And so the first one

526
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:09.679
for me was emotion, and it
was like, dig up what you know

527
00:35:10.119 --> 00:35:14.719
when I looked at emotion and voice, and so first let's let's go to

528
00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:16.880
voice first. So like, dig
up your old story and you know,

529
00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:21.480
set it on fire. You know, I love my little opinion fire out

530
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:23.519
there that I use my little thing. Put it on in there, get

531
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:25.920
rid of it. Whatever that old
story is, get rid of it.

532
00:35:27.239 --> 00:35:30.559
Emotions, we can lock those up
in our body. And so whatever old

533
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:34.760
emotions you have around things in your
life, like it could be your divorce,

534
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:37.960
it could be sexual trauma, whatever
it happens to be, figure that

535
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:39.920
out and get rid of those.
You know, there's yoga you can get

536
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:43.360
rid of for trauma and the body, get rid of it because it's all

537
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:45.639
stored up in there. And that
baggage. You cannot bring that into new

538
00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:49.599
relationships. It's kind of heavy,
so you might want to figure out a

539
00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:52.960
way to release that old stuff.
And then our body. You know,

540
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:55.599
there's parts of my body. I
used to weigh two hundred and seventy pounds,

541
00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:59.760
pretty much double what I am today. You know there's times when I

542
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:02.599
still look in the mirror, I
still see that lady. So get real

543
00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:07.960
comfortable with who you are. Love
your body, Appreciate her for whoever,

544
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:10.840
or him, for whoever they happen
to be. Just make peace with her,

545
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:14.719
because him or her, because it's
not going to getty better, and

546
00:36:14.840 --> 00:36:20.199
just have to say things are getting
any different. Give yourself permission play.

547
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:25.119
Don't let anybody else's judgment for your
fantasies or you know what, set some

548
00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:29.079
parameters, some boundaries, but you
know what, go out and play.

549
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:32.079
If you're married, as long as
you're two consenting adults in a relationship or

550
00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:36.480
in a partnership, go out there
and have some fun, because that's what

551
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:40.000
it's supposed to be. Fun,
Okay, And then desire, what is

552
00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:45.280
your desire? Ignite It got to
say this book wasn't my first desire,

553
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:47.519
but now that I'm on that track. It's fun and I'm going to keep

554
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:51.320
doing it. So what is your
desire? Is it to write a book?

555
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:53.360
Is it to own a bed and
breakfast in another country? Do it?

556
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:58.440
Learn a new language, have fun
with it? Is then what is

557
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.920
your Then find out how embody that
zen? Do that, find out what

558
00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:07.960
tap into your zentual goddess and really
enjoy that. So those are the stients

559
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:12.519
that I came up with that helped
me determine what kept in to the zentual

560
00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:15.920
goddess and let me live my zentral
life. I love it. I love

561
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:17.639
it so much, and in part
because, as you know, when I'm

562
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:22.440
outspeaking to audiences and I talk about
the importance of passion, inspiration and purpose,

563
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:24.280
and when I ask the crowds,
what are you passionate about? Do

564
00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:28.719
you know what? The number one
response that I get is family. No,

565
00:37:29.159 --> 00:37:31.159
it's I don't know. They don't
know what they're passionate about. I

566
00:37:31.239 --> 00:37:34.960
know, I'm like, you get
this one precious life and you don't know

567
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.960
what you're passionate about. So I
really like that you've given us access through

568
00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:42.719
these six essential ingredients, because if
you can start to answer those questions for

569
00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:45.400
yourself, you open something and get
present to that space. Yes, and

570
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:47.800
that's where we get to the next
question that I think is really really cool

571
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:52.599
share is you talk about your use
of self discovery questions to determine where we've

572
00:37:52.599 --> 00:37:55.239
gotten complace it in life. I
really resonate with that, not just for

573
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:58.599
my own life book, that work
that I do with my customers and my

574
00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:01.559
clients. So seey more about that
self discovery process. Well, I like

575
00:38:01.639 --> 00:38:06.239
it because as I was putting them
together, I was thinking of some clients

576
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.559
and some friends and you know,
some conversations we've had over wine and some

577
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:15.360
evenings and just think about like where
have we checked out me included? And

578
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:17.760
that's how those questions came up,
Like when do we go on autopilot and

579
00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:21.760
we're just you know, going along
to get along? And that could be

580
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:24.639
including our work, you know,
whether it's partnerships, work, you know,

581
00:38:24.920 --> 00:38:30.119
and our and our self love,
connection in our in our physical fitness,

582
00:38:30.760 --> 00:38:32.960
because those have been a lot of
the different times. And so when

583
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.920
we get complacent, it's sometimes that's
when some of those warning bells go off,

584
00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:42.039
right, so we go Oh,
And I was listening to a lady

585
00:38:42.039 --> 00:38:44.800
this morning called into a talk room. She said, oh, it's been

586
00:38:44.920 --> 00:38:49.679
years since I had sex. Well, that complacency might have been like eighteen

587
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:52.599
months ago, if not longer.
That she should have had that warning bell,

588
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:57.800
you know those things. When we
get into complency, it gets so

589
00:38:58.239 --> 00:39:00.599
easy. Then we get into a
rut and then we need to dig out

590
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:02.840
of the ditch, and you know, it just gets worse. And so

591
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:07.800
that's why I thought those questions were
really helpful, because those would have been

592
00:39:07.880 --> 00:39:10.920
really easy for me back then.
Had I noticed that I was getting complacent

593
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:15.599
about maybe my exercise routine, about
my self care, Oh, I stopped

594
00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:19.199
going to see my friends, right, those are all things that are triggers.

595
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:22.039
Didn't let me know that I'm not
doing the self care I need to

596
00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.119
do, or I'm thinking somebody for
advantage. You know this because you've been

597
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:28.920
in my life for a long time. But I recognized very much that I

598
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:34.760
had fallen into a state of apathy
and complacency. You know, somewhere in

599
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:37.280
the beginning of twenty fifteen, I
had such a fantastic twenty fourteen, and

600
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:40.400
then twenty fifteen happened, And when
I look back on that share, I

601
00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:46.239
was absolutely an apathetic complacency, and
that was definitely feeling some kind of depression,

602
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:50.239
and part of it came from because
I knew I was not living the

603
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.679
life that I wanted for myself.
I wasn't going for my dreams, and

604
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:58.239
I hated myself for it, but
I was complacent in that and that toward

605
00:39:58.280 --> 00:39:59.880
the end of that year. Of
course, that's when I went to my

606
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.960
a horse process. So the result
of that, so I really the importance

607
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:06.760
of being able to get present of
that sooner rather than later so you can

608
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:09.159
do something about it is essential.
Yeah, Yeah, And that's one of

609
00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:13.880
the reasons I thought some of those
questions kind of gave us an idea of

610
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:16.840
where are we with it? Because
it is easier sometimes to stay in the

611
00:40:16.840 --> 00:40:22.000
boat instead of like rocking it right. Well, we have a nice home,

612
00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:24.880
we have a nice life, and
everything's okay, And that's why it's

613
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:28.719
hard to go, well, why
don't we start rocking it and start asking

614
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.960
questions? It's like, well,
why should we right right right right by

615
00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:36.000
the way before we forget? I
have to know, I've got a burning

616
00:40:36.119 --> 00:40:40.360
question. In your book, you
talk about having being out at a restaurant

617
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:44.679
eating with one of your friends and
she has such a gusto for eating.

618
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:53.280
Is it me you? Of course
it is. I read that eating.

619
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:57.840
It's like making a lot of the
food absolutely right, and it trans ind

620
00:40:57.920 --> 00:41:00.480
let me tell you, it's the
same appidiet that goes there everywhere. So

621
00:41:01.639 --> 00:41:07.559
I wanted you she's talking about me. I wouldn't have mind if you use

622
00:41:07.599 --> 00:41:10.280
my name, But okay, then
I'll put your name in now that I

623
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:15.920
have permission absolutely on air. Listeners
and viewers you heard it, so you

624
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:17.480
know, it's kind of like when
you have a hairy Mit selling moment right

625
00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:21.079
in the restaurant, right, that's
me. I can do that, Yes,

626
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:27.119
at least could with food. It's
a good example about enjoying life to

627
00:41:27.159 --> 00:41:30.159
the fullest. So that's the point. It can be food, it could

628
00:41:30.199 --> 00:41:34.760
be anything. It could be the
travel. And this is you know,

629
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:37.320
this is one of my favorite things. Is like, if you're gonna have

630
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:39.199
water, why not even just put
it in a beautiful wine glass. I'm

631
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:43.079
not having wine right now, but
I have spaw water right here at home

632
00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:46.360
in a beautiful wine glass. We
can still do fun things to treat ourselves

633
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:51.679
well. It just doesn't have to
be some day. We can drive,

634
00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:57.199
we can do great things to do
this self care every day. In fact,

635
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:59.880
let's talk about that. Let's grab
that real quick, because I've been

636
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.440
having a lot of conversations with people
in this pandemic who are not taking time

637
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:06.320
for self care because they feel like, well, I'm stuck at home anyway,

638
00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:07.199
Who's going to notice it? I
don't know through my camera on if

639
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:10.519
I'm on a zoom call. And
what happens is that just makes it worse.

640
00:42:10.559 --> 00:42:15.639
We get more, we get further
down down the downward spiral. We

641
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:19.400
do actually take the time to take
care of ourselves. Put makeup on us

642
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:22.719
for us women, you know,
put on an decent nice shirt and shave

643
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:25.239
men for you right, looking at
you, Look at your beautiful ear rings,

644
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:29.559
the beautiful lipstick. Right, these
things make a difference to how we

645
00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:34.039
feel and how we care for ourselves. Yes, absolutely, And you know,

646
00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:37.559
having worked at home for so many
years, unless you know, before

647
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:42.440
when we could go out and speak
and train, the days I would work

648
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.920
at home office, I still had
to do the hair in the makeup thing

649
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:50.360
because I didn't feel like I was
at my job unless I did dress up

650
00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:53.599
and show up. And so that's
always been important to me and about the

651
00:42:53.639 --> 00:42:58.760
first three or four weeks of COVID
trust me, the sweatpants, the ponytail,

652
00:42:58.840 --> 00:43:01.239
the no makeup was a big thing. But about the fourth week I

653
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:06.519
went because my husband worked from home
too, and I didn't think that was

654
00:43:06.559 --> 00:43:10.119
fair to him to have to see
this face that way every day. You

655
00:43:10.159 --> 00:43:14.639
know, honestly, that would be
a rut and that would be complacency.

656
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:17.320
Totally understand that. In fact,
I address for my man too. I

657
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:21.320
mean, that's just that's important.
It says I respect you, and I

658
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:24.920
respect myself and I care about us. So yes, exactly, I want

659
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:28.480
to make sure that we presence this
for our listeners and viewers. And how

660
00:43:28.519 --> 00:43:31.800
you talk about intimacy, you say
it includes feelings of closeness, safety,

661
00:43:31.800 --> 00:43:37.199
connectedness, and truth. That's intense. Say more. Yeah. There's a

662
00:43:37.239 --> 00:43:43.199
great quote by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
She wrote the invitation and she says,

663
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:46.199
do you like who you are when
you're alone? In those quiet moments?

664
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:51.239
And that's one of my favorite quotes
by her. And the other one is

665
00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:55.960
are you willing to risk hurting another
to honor yourself? And for the longest

666
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:59.039
time, that second one just freaked
me out because I was like, what

667
00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:01.199
do you mean? And it was
really like, are you willing to hurt

668
00:44:01.280 --> 00:44:06.519
someone else to be really true to
who you are and what you need?

669
00:44:06.920 --> 00:44:12.039
And that to me spoke volumes about
intimacy and really honoring who you are.

670
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:15.599
Can you be alone in those quiet
moments like when the lights go out at

671
00:44:15.719 --> 00:44:19.760
night and when you are single and
you live alone? Do you like the

672
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:23.280
person you are? That was a
really big question and I wrote that in

673
00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:28.960
my journal a lot after I became
single. Do I like who I am?

674
00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:32.480
To me, that was the ultimate
intimacy question. Do I like the

675
00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:37.039
person I'm showing up as in my
work with my friends, all of it?

676
00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:42.039
I like that? That's beautiful?
And intimacy is such a yummy thing,

677
00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:45.960
right, Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy. It's just so It's such a

678
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.639
beautiful part of life we've been given
and being able to access it is so

679
00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:52.000
important. Again, all the more
reason that the work you're doing is important.

680
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.519
And I want you to say something
about the c GEL network you created.

681
00:44:55.559 --> 00:44:59.679
That's fantastic. What's that all about? Yeah? I decided that I

682
00:44:59.719 --> 00:45:04.280
wanted to start interacting more with I
get these questions a lot when I'm out

683
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:06.760
with people and they find out this
is the work I've been involved in,

684
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:09.000
and I'm stepping into it one hundred
percent now. So I thought, well,

685
00:45:09.199 --> 00:45:12.840
now with COVID, we can't really
see each other very often, so

686
00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:17.159
I would start a Facebook group for
ze Out for people asking questions and wanting

687
00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:21.760
to have online forums once a week
and so that should be out next week

688
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:24.000
and we'll have a great little Facebook
group where we can have one on one

689
00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:29.679
dialogue. And just because we can't
do one on one FaceTime, so we

690
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:32.079
might as well do it on the
Facebook group. I like it. I

691
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:36.239
like it. And then you will
have a line of candles and other products

692
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:38.159
coming out as well. So it's
not enough here to be speaking and writing

693
00:45:38.199 --> 00:45:43.440
and handling people's intimate sex lives.
Where also got candles going. That's awesome,

694
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:45.199
Well not just candles, but I
wanted to, you know, for

695
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:50.000
me, when I start doing self
love and appreciation and making sure I want

696
00:45:50.079 --> 00:45:52.880
to take good care of myself and
setting the mood, candles were a big

697
00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:57.760
thing for me. That set the
mood and bath products and all that way

698
00:45:58.159 --> 00:46:01.880
and so smells and the perfect light
and then also making sure they were healthy.

699
00:46:02.239 --> 00:46:08.239
And so I've started researching and doing
some relationships for candles. Zentual Pleasures

700
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:13.800
is the name of the company that
I started for a different line of candles

701
00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:19.760
and bath products that will be under
the Zentual gal umbrella. So it's been

702
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:22.920
fun exploring that. I love it. I love it. I can't wait

703
00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:27.519
for samples. Absolutely, So we're
at the end already. Share. So

704
00:46:27.639 --> 00:46:30.840
you know what the show is all
about, helping people find meaning, passion,

705
00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:32.039
inspiration and purpose in their lives and
their work. What do you want

706
00:46:32.039 --> 00:46:37.760
to leave listeners with. I want
people to remember that, as you say,

707
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:40.880
they have one precious life. Embrace
who you are, Love who you

708
00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:45.760
are, and go out and shine
in this world. Share. It is

709
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:47.960
such a miracle to get to be
your friend. I'm grateful that you came

710
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:52.039
on the show. You're sharing what
you're doing in the world and important work

711
00:46:52.039 --> 00:46:53.800
that you're doing, and you're really
putting yourself out there and I'm ready to

712
00:46:53.840 --> 00:46:58.679
appreciate. Love you and chair issue. Thanks for having me, Love you

713
00:46:58.760 --> 00:47:01.440
too, Thank you. Welcome listeners. If you want to learn more about

714
00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:05.639
Sherry, her journey to surviving to
thriving, and the work she does as

715
00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:08.840
a sex and intimacy empowerment coach or
her book. Visit her at zentualgal dot

716
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:14.039
com. So that is spelled z
e n s U l A s u

717
00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:17.639
A L gal g A L right
share Is that right? Yeah? Zentualga

718
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:22.599
l dot com scentual gl Okay.
So last week, if you missed the

719
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:24.039
live show you I was catching you
recorded podcast. We were on the o

720
00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:28.320
Danny Gutnek, who is the CEO
of Pathways, and we were talking about

721
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:30.519
his fascinating book called Meaning at Work
in Its Hidden Language. That's where I

722
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:34.519
learned about Limbit Residence. By the
way, next week we'll be on the

723
00:47:34.519 --> 00:47:37.639
air with Steve Brown. He's the
author of The Innovation Ultimatum, which is

724
00:47:37.639 --> 00:47:39.639
the subject of our conversation. So
you're there that work is at least of

725
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:47.719
their real life. So let's work
on Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this

726
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:52.400
week's program. Be sure to tune
in to Working on Purpose featuring your host,

727
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:58.760
doctor Elise Cortes, each week on
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. Together,

728
00:47:59.079 --> 00:48:05.519
we'll create a world where business operates
conscientiously, leadership inspires impassioned performance,

729
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:09.320
and employees are fulfilled in work that
provides the meaning and purpose. They crave

730
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:13.639
see you there. Let's work on
purpose.