Aug. 5, 2020

Zensual Gal: From Surviving to Thriving

Zensual Gal: From Surviving to Thriving

Many of us will spend a good portion of our lives getting over and recovering from the events of our childhood. It’s the steps we take, the work we do, and the grace we grant ourselves that can make all the difference as we work to unfold into our...

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Many of us will spend a good portion of our lives getting over and recovering from the events of our childhood. It’s the steps we take, the work we do, and the grace we grant ourselves that can make all the difference as we work to unfold into our very best. It takes bravery, a strong dose of authenticity and sometimes a blind leap of faith. But the journey is oh so worth it. In this episode, Sherri shares her story of how she went from surviving her life to thriving.

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What's working on purpose anyway? Each
week we ponder the answer to this question.

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People ache for meaning and purpose at
work, to contribute their talents passionately

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and know their lives really matter.
They crave being part of an organization that

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inspires them and helps them grow into
realizing their highest potential business can be such

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a force for good in the world, elevating humanity. In our program,

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we provide guidance and inspiration to help
usher in this world we all want working

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on purpose. Now Here is your
host, doctor Elise Cortes. Welcome back

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to the Working and Purpose Program.
Thanks for tuning in again this week.

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I'm your host, doctor e Lea's
Cortes. Join you, Lyne from Dallas,

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which is one bay to move.
If you've including it a while,

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you know his program is a thought
leadership series that is designed to enlighten,

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inspire listeners with insights from distinguished business
leaders, the subject matter experts. Our

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conversations are designed to make you think, inspired, to reach ever, hire

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for your own best, and take
an informed approach towards leadership, business and

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life. Today, we're going to
have a great time talking to my guest.

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This is a little bit of a
break from My Normal Fare. My

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guest today is Cherry Elliott Yui.
She is a recovering or a recovered I

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should say, HR executive who lived
in a sexless marriage. After experiencing her

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own sexual healing and awakening in twenty
fourteen, she transformed her career path and

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is now a full time sex and
intimacy empowerment coach, writer, blogger,

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and the teacher. We'll be talking
about her journey from surviving to thriving and

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are seemed to be a released book
called sixty nine of My Dirtiest Secrets Awaken

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your Central Goddess She Knows today from
Frisco, Texas. Sherry, my dear

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friend, Welcome back to working on
Purpose. Thank you for having me,

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and quite a different topic we're going
to talk about tonight than we usually talk

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about. Yeah, we've covered the
gamut of I think we think we've done

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generational things. I think we've talked
about how to get stuck at when you're

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at a road at crossroad, and
we've given thanks around Thanksgiving, and this

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time we get to give thanks for
you and your own trends, information and

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coming through the other side. And
I first want to say for the thirteen

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years that I've known you, I
really, really, really applaud and appreciate

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what you're doing sharing. This is
true authenticity at its finest. Thank you.

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That's very kind of you to say, and I really appreciate that.

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But this has been one that you
know, I've wrestled with for a long

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time, and it's not one I
took lightly. And it was a lot

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safer if I would have just stayed
within my own little hula hoop in the

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HR world, which would have been
great. But then I got called into

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writing books, and then I started
doing generational work and that got real uncomfortable.

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But nothing has been more uncomfortable for
me in my life than working on

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this book and this movement because it's
required that I step out and share my

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story in my truth. Because I'm
not a doctor, I'm not a PhD.

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This isn't something I've done all my
life, but it's my story that

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I feel like is giving other women
permission to stand up and heal from their

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pastsolutely. And one of the things
that I often say, Sharon, I'm

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sure you've heard me say it before, is that especially when we answer our

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calling, we answer that which we're
being called to do it's not always convenient,

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and I know that we've talked before
that this wasn't necessarily something you wanted

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to do, and we'll talk more
about that as we go along here,

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but I just want to applaud all
more reason that you're stepping into your authenticity

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and just being real and raw and
vulnerable. I read, of course your

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book cover to cover, as you
know I do. I learned more things

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about you in that book that I
didn't know the thirteen years we've been acquainted

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and than dear friends, and so
your own path to embrace being a zentual

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gal is just phenomenal. So I
wanted to be one of the first to

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get to share that share you with
the world and show what it looks like

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when you really show up in the
world as an authentic human being. Thank

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you, Yeah, you're welcome,
my dear. So I think it makes

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a lot of sense and a couple
of things that I want to call out

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about the work you're doing, and
well it'll become more apparent to our listeners

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and viewers as we talk, But
really just to focus on empowering women to

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come into their own zenual as you
say, in educating and empowering couples in

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their intimacy, which of course is
fantastic. And I'll say more about why

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I think that's important as we go. But for our listeners and viewers who

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don't know your story, haven't read
your book yet like I have, would

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you share a bit of your own
unfold and in transformation. There's been a

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lot of things along your journey that
happened to help catalyze Shay Eliot Eerie.

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Yeah, thank you. It's interesting
because I look back at some of the

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things that gave me this opportunity,
and one of the biggest changes, honestly,

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was my divorce eight or nine years
ago, and I thought I married

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the man of my dreams. I
thought this was it. You know too,

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I remember that. I thought you
did, Yeah, you knew you

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were there, and I thought,
Okay, this is it I have you

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know, this is this is forever
and ever amen. And three years later,

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when it ended up not forever and
ever, amen, I was like,

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well, what did I do wrong? And why why does he not

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love me anymore? You know,
I gave everything I had, BODI,

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soul, finances, everything, and
that was the problem. Quite honestly,

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I gave everything of myself and I
left me somewhere back once I said I

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do, And so once the marriage
ended, I was like this shadow of

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myself and it took a while for
me to figure out who I was again.

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And that was something that I really
saw when I was at my divorce

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attorneys and there was other women there. They were like these papers and images

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of women. You know, it
was like we were walking dead, right.

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We were all these ghosts of our
prior self. And I was like,

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that's what we're doing. We are
just checking out, leaving ourselves the

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minute we put the ring on the
finger and we forget who we are.

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And that's the person that our partner, our spouse, whoever it is,

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fell in love with. And so
that's where zentual Gal got burked from.

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It was the whole idea of finding
that zen for ourselves and living this sensual

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life and living and doesn't mean anything
to do with being married and a committed

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relationship. It's just living this turned
on lit up life. Completely understand that,

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because you know my space today is
passion, inspiration and purpose. I

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completely see that. I understand very
much, which is one of the reasons

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that you and I have sinced and
I think in some ways have started to

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head more of a parallel path around
really awakening people to passion. So for

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you, your journey though, and
this is important for our listeners and our

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viewers to understand, is your journey
goes way back. Share if you can

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just share a few things that you
share in your book that are what I

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would consider to be very raw and
painful about your passage you've had to navigate,

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starting with how you grew up.
Would you share? Absolutely? Absolutely,

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I want to share it. Quote
and this is one that really stays

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with me by An Lamont. When
God is doing something, he starts off

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with a hardship. When God is
going to do something amazing, he starts

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with an impossibility. So my life
has been a lot of impossibilities. So

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that's why that quote really stands out
for me. And So I grew up

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in Canada, and I was raised
by a mom who lived on welfare,

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and I was the oldest of four
kids. I was sexually abused as a

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child. I searched out and found
my own adopted family by the time I

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was twelve years old. Because that's
just the way I do things. I

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just figured them out and I'm going
to make sure it happens, and I

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graduated high school at sixteen, went
to college, and I took care of

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my three younger siblings, became their
financial guardians. And I decided that by

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the time my daughter was two,
after I lost a child, I was

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going to stay single, and I
moved to the United States, and she

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became my one and only important focus
in life. And again it was I

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believe that that was my sole responsibility. And when my daughter turned eighteen,

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I figured out that she was a
drug addict and she was addicted to meth.

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She got it at a college here
in Dallas, a very prominent college,

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and I started a campaign of working
to help the DEA and other mothers

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unders and what to look for in
the science, because my daughters continued to

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struggle on and off for the last
twenty years with addiction. Because math is

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very difficult to overcome. I left
my corporate role in HR almost twenty years

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ago. Eighteen years ago according to
LinkedIn and the three gentlemen that wanted to

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go into business with me. One
day I was deciding, and I was

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looking at some of my clients and
I thought, you know, I was

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thinking about writing a generational book,
and so I told the three gentlemen that

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I wanted to step back from my
HR practice and I was working on this

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book. Well, as soon as
I mentioned this book, the next day,

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I was locked out of my office, out of my computer, everything,

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and they filed a lawsuit against me. So you know, it didn't

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really do anything to help make me
trust men a lot at that point.

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So next thing, you know,
I decided to hang my own shingle.

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And so all of these were these
impossibilities that kept showing up for me,

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you know. And I'm an introvert
actually, and so Alisa and I have

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this running joke because you know,
we'll go speak together and I'm like,

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give me my cocoon. I just
want to go inside. And at Leasa's

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like, hey, everybody, you
know, let's talk. Let's talk.

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And so that's not the way I
do things. And so to be a

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motivational speaker, it was another huge
hurdle for me because I was like,

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well, I really believe in my
book and my message, but I don't

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really want to do that. So
all of these impossibilities to me have been

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the opportunity that brought me here today. And I could look back at all

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those things that have happened to me
and be a victim in my life.

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Or I could look at it and
go wow, I've written several books.

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I've had this huge blessing to be
able to stand here today and be in

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this space to do the work I'm
doing, And so I choose to look

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at it that way. And this
is what's so good about that. Let

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me let me give a quick little
teaching for our viewers and our listeners as

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a logo therapist, is that what
you have to surface there is one of

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the ways that we find meaning in
life. It's a source of meaning,

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and that is the attitudinal stance we
take when life throws what it does at

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us a choice in every single moment
to choose that attitude. What you're demonstrating

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is the way that you chose to
take that attitude was one of I'll get

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through this. You're a fighter.
It wasn't going to it was not going

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to tear you down. And the
other thing that I think is amazing about

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the way you're telling your story share
is that I've never heard you say before

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about life serving up impossibilities and you
confronting them. But that's exactly right.

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That's how I would That's how we
describe it. And even when you started

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to speak, that was not a
fun experience for you. Starting on speaking,

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you hated it, You absolutely hated
it. And look what you're doing

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now and here what do you have? Honey, books out? Seven books

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seven, seven, I'm working on
eight. And so what I also really

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want to showcase for people that are
listening and watching is just how you have

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just boldly done life right, just
stepped into it. And that is one

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of the other things I want to
celebrate about to Sherry, thank you,

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and you know we talked about this
last year and one of the things I

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want to stand for, especially because
I have a seven year old granddaughter and

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you know how my connection is with
her, and I want her to know

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that she can go out and do
anything she wants anything, And you know,

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I want to matter, and I
want to matter to her if it's

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for anybody, I want her to
know that she matters and that she can

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do anything. And so that to
me is what keeps me doing things differently

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and boldly because I want her to
know that she has that too, She

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can do whatever she wants to do. That's an option, absolutely, it

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is, and we need to call
it just about this moment, don't we,

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ladies and gentlemen. What a sexy
grandmother you are. Goodness, thank

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you, Graham. Graham. Okay, so now we got to know.

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I mean I watched you struggle with
this for quite some time. Sure,

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I kept saying, is it ready? Is it ready? Is this book

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ready? And you know you were
in the trenches on this thing. Why

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did you write this book? Yeah? Yeah, it was hard keeping your

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back, Misslise, I got to
say, because she kept asking. And

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you know, seven years later,
it's been Yeah. You know, I

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felt like I was given this time
when COVID happened. You know, it

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was a month before COVID that I
started going, Okay, I'm doing this

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and I took all the data and
put it together that I'd been bringing in

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for seven years. And then COVID
got really crazy in March, and I

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went, Okay, so my whole
speaking career has gone. All my gigs

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had just pretty much left us,
as we all know, and so my

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revenue, my calendar, everything,
and I went, oh, okay,

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I get the message. And so
it really did. It just opened everything

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up and I went, so what
do I have to fear everything that I

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would have said, well maybe not, oh maybe not, maybe I'm too

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busy, Oh what will people think? It all went away, and so

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I went ah. So now we're
at one hundred and sixty page manuscript in

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the final editing process. And it
isn't just one book, it's three books

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that has all happened since February.
That's how it works when you are following

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your passion and purpose. And that's
you know that I do because I got

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a similar sort of message and and
tap on the shoulder too, And then

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my book is now at the publishers
having gone through three rounds of edits,

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and yes, this is the response
to COVID. Yes, ma'am, I

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get it, and we will all
be the benefactors of that. Thank you,

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Sherry. So I want to talk
about what you're doing in your practice

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in your book here, and it's
so important. I took some notes obviously

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on this, but you say that
the aim of your book and your consulting

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practice is to help women come home
to themselves and live a zentually empowered life.

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I love that. Who's going to
say no to that? Now?

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I think I'll pass somebody else.
No, thank you not today to really

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empowered, So tell us more.
This sounds amazing and I think it's so

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important, And I'm going to time
in why I think it's important after you

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tell us why this is so for
you? Well, I was ask someone

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what's your sex life like? You
know, and straight out, straight out,

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let's trust me. It's kind of
fun. And you know this.

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You go to a party and someone
says, what do you do or what

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do you write about sex? They're
like, tell me more. You know,

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I ask someone what's your sex life
like? And they're like, oh,

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well, you know, once a
month, you know, I can

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tell you what that person shows up
like in the world, what their work

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is like. You know, if
you spend three or four hours running a

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week, right or exercising a week, but you spend one hour a week

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in your intimate relationship with either your
partner, your lover, or yourself,

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where's the balance, right? And
so if that's all you're spending getting to

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know yourself and you're spending all this
time at work, et cetera, et

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cetera, where's the investment in yourself
and that type of intimacy. That's the

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difference in how you show up in
the world too. There's a correlation to

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that. If you don't feel sexy
and you don't feel confident. You know

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how you feel when you run and
you get those endorphins, you feel on

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top of the world. But if
you don't feel sexy from the inside out,

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that's how you show up. I
call them curmudgeons. But you know,

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there's obviously a few other colorful works
for people like that. I've been

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there. I know after my divorce, I wasn't feeling a whole lot of

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hotness. Let me tell you.
I was looking to licking my wounds in

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the corner, you know, with
my big old bottle of wine forget laugh.

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Probably, So it's like, let's
turn the sexy back on, and

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let's do that. And it takes
effort, and it takes investing in ourselves.

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It does, and I want to
talk more about that, but let's

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grab our first break. We've been
in the air with Sherry Elliott Eurey.

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She is the zentual gal. She's
been talking a bit about her own journey

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from surviving to thriving and her book. We'll talk more about what she's actually

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doing with couples intimacy after the Raak
stay with us. We'll be right back.

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Doctor release Cortez as a management consultant
specializing in meaning and purpose and inspirational

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speaker and author. She helps companies
visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and develop

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purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused cultures
that elevate fulfillment, performance, and commitment

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within the workforce. To learn more
or to invite a lot to speak to

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00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:04.679
your organization, please visit her at
eliscortes dot com. Let's talk about how

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to get your employees working on purpose. This is working on Purpose with doctor

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Elise Cortes. To reach our program
today or open a conversation with Elise,

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send an email to Elise Alise at
eliscortes dot com. Now back to working

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on purpose. Thanks for staying with
us. Welcome back to working on purpose.

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If you're just joining us. My
guest is Sherry Elliot Yury. She's

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a recovered HR executive who lived in
a sexless marriage. After experiencing her own

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sexual healing and awakening in twenty fourteen, she transformed your career path and is

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now a full time sex and intimacy
environment coach, writer, blogger, and

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teacher. She's the author of sixty
nine of my dirtiest secrets. Awaken your

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sensual Goddess. I'm your host,
Elise Cortes, So Sherry. One of

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the other things that I really wanted
to share with our listeners and viewers that

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I think is so important about the
work that you're doing is is you're really

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working on helping couples re establish and
deepen their intimacy. And of course,

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as a divorced woman, I've been
divorced for four years, that might have

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helped. I might have helped,
say about four years ago before we actually

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went our separate ways. So say
more about what you're doing to help couples

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develop that intimacy. Well, a
lot of times, for especially for our

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generation, at least people in our
generation will have at least two or three

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significant relationships, if not marriages.
Hopefully it's within the same person with the

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same person, right, So two
or three significant relationships, but it's helpful

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if it can be within the same
committed relationship. But it takes the communication

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and you know, we have that
ebb and flow. It's not always going

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to be that hot, fiery,
you know, amazing relationship. Hopefully it

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is, it's not always and so
during that ebb and flow. It takes

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the communication skills, it takes that
interest. And so having that opportunity where

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people feel safe, where they can
share what are some of their intest some

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of their fantasies, that's really really
important, and that's where people start to

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end up where they don't feel comfortable. They're like, Okay, well you

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know it's Wednesday night. You know
this is what we normally do every month

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or whatever it happens to be.
I was listening to doctor Ruth this morning

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because I just love her, it
doesn't love her. And one of the

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funniest things she said this morning was, Ladies, I know sometimes mister likes

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it more than you do. So
you know what you do some of those

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times it takes two to three minutes
to make him happy and then you get

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to go to sleep when we all
use take a woman a lot longer.

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So I say women are like slow
cookers and men are like microwaves. Now

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we need to help tell men and
maybe do some how to videos on what

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it takes to make us happy,
pleasurable, what gets to us turned on

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and lit up because they we don't
have a manual that comes with us.

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We need to show them. We
need to give them that instruction. We

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can't just expect to know what we
want all the time. Absolutely right.

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I was just talking with one of
the women that I'm coaching, and I

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was explaining to her how we have
to teach everyone in our life really how

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we want to be treated and communicated. That's all over work. That's in

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a relationship with her children, with
her lover, everyone. How to your

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point, how else would they know
that's right, that's right, And especially

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in you know, romantic and physical
relationships. Some people like some things and

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some people like something different, and
you know, not everybody knows this.

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So we need to be open,
vulnerable, authentic, and that's it,

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you know, that's one of the
ways I said about where I lost myself

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before. Do you like Mexican yes
or no? You don't go into a

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relationship not telling the truth about what
you like and what you don't. That's

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not your authentic, vulnerable self,
because you're going to get confused later on

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when you're in the relationship. You
are And in fact, I have to

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quote this, I love what you
say. You're in the book. You

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say you say you believe that,
you believe that having healthy fulfilling relationships and

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working toward a pleasure fiel creative life
for every one of us is the key

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to creating a much kinder world.
Sounds good to me, say more,

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I just have to say, when
we are all feeling fulfilled, that's a

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whole different way of being in the
world instead of pent up, aggression,

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anger. I mean, when you
go through the transitions of life, when

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we are not connected, not joyful, I mean, that's a totally different

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way of being than when our relationships
are working, When we have self love

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and when we are connected to self
and we feel confident, that's a whole

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different type of world. When you
walk out the door and you feel like

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that, that's an amazing way to
get in your car, and when you

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go to work, or when you
say hello to the barista, or when

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you go to the exercise place,
or when you go to get your dry

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cleaning. That's a major impression in
the world. And again I go back

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to what I said about you impacting
the divorce rate. So many couples and

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I was married for together eighteen and
married for sixteen, and definitely we all

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lose that immediate ability to talk about
what's important to us. And what's tender

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and vul vulnerable for us, and
so it just happens that you just start

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to go your separate ways. And
so I love what you're doing to be

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able to bring couples back together and
get them talking about what's important to them

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about their intimacy. I just think
that's such important work. It is,

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and I think it's also given common
language. And I didn't realize this until

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I started working on this for myself. I could physically be present for intimate

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relationships, but don't ask me to
bring my emotions into it. So it's

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taken this last five years again for
me to really do a lot of healing

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myself to understand that there's two parts
to it. And so even in relationship,

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there's a lot of vulnerability that's required
for a woman to be totally one

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hundred percent vulnerable and present with a
part with a lover. And so there's

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a lot that goes into coaching and
working with couples because it's not just that

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our physical self shows up right,
that tender, laid bear soul is in

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there too, right, Absolutely,
I'm with you, all right, So

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the next thing I have to know, and I'm sure our listeners and viewers

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are wanted to know the same thing
here is, how did you come up

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with the idea of sensuality? What
does that really mean for you? Yeah,

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So when I was going through my
divorce, it was around Christmas time

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and our house was up for sale
and my x and ized anniversary was January

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first, so it's a beautiful timming
year to go through a divorce, and

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I decided to do what was the
best thing I could is to run off

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and lick my wounds in a different
part of the world and take a solo

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vacation, which was so smart because
going away alone, especially for three weeks

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over the holidays in another country,
was like getting me outside every comfort zone

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I'd ever had. And I was
laying on the beach in Cancun, and

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I was watching the water and the
tide was coming in and out and the

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waves. It was very hypnotic and
I was just like I was zend out

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and it was so relaxing, and
I thought there was no effort, there

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was no fight, no struggle,
and I really thought about the whole zen

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And as I walked up and down
the beach, I felt sensual, connected

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to the earth, the water,
the sky, the sun, and I

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felt sexier in that moment going through
my divorce and nobody. I felt like

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nobody wanted me, and I went
Zensual. I got online right away because

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I believe in following the hints,
and Zenual was an open website, and

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I bought the domain. I bought
about seven domains with the word xenual seven

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or eight years ago, in two
the beginning of New Year's twenty fourteen.

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That's why you've been asking me since, and I started writing Erodica stories.

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I remember fogs in twenty fourteen on
that vacation when I took my very first

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long solo trip and it was one
of the best healing trips I could take

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in for myself, and there was
moments of pain and discomfort, but it

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was that's where the healing began.
Oh, a couple of things and right.

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So I do think that what I
want to call it for our listeners

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and viewers, because oftentimes people ask
me, at least, how do I

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find meaning? How do I find
purpose? So much of it is going

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inward and listening to your what your
soul and your heart is trying to tell

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you, and stop trying to talk
yourself out of it, which you did

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by yourself in Mexico. And the
other thing I want to call out that

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you're talking about is the importance of
writing that. I don't want to say

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menia, but the discomfort there,
you can't you can't know it away.

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You've got to go with it if
you can. If you can hang on

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to that discomfort and the all out
pain on the other side of that is

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something really good. And that's what
you've been describing. Yeah, yeah,

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And like I said, those if
you can go through it and walk through

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it and you can go get on
the other side, there's such beauty and

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grace, and that's where the jewels
are. I mean, that's me where

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the magic is. And I just
remind myself going through those moments that there

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is light because I'm a sparkle kind
of gal, you know, I want

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to see the jewels on the other
side, and I know they're there,

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and I know it's going to be
so much better that I can remember that,

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And that's the beauty of it,
because I have no interest in staying

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right where I am today at all, and you never have stagnant, so

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I'm not interested in that. So
it's what's next what's next. In fact,

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here's what's really interesting. Share.
Let me take you back for just

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a quick second. Remember when I
was going through and I had to take

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my modes of engagement assessment, and
you came out as self actualizing, which

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I had been for a long time
too, which is the mode of engagement.

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This is from my own research,
ladies and gentlemen, that I did

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for my PhD and then post doc, and I found these fifteen modes of

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00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:41.119
engagement, and yours, like mine
for the longest time, was self actualizing,

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which is where we use our life
and our work and experiences, lean

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00:25:45.160 --> 00:25:48.079
into them for everything that we can
to be able to realize our higher potential,

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our higher selves. You were doing
that, and you've been doing that

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00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:52.880
for a while, so have I. Now I'm on the other side where

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I'm living my purpose and some things
happen for you too. You've come through

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00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:00.559
something too. I don't know if
you feel if you're living your purpose yet

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00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.240
or not. Maybe you are,
but you're definitely not in that same self

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00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:07.279
actualizing Only two were before. No, No, it's very different, and

395
00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:11.640
I think some of it, honestly
is. The real discomfort also came when

396
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:18.599
I got remarried. It was like
I bumped up against something that made me

397
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.319
have to look in the face of
somebody who went, you don't get to

398
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:26.279
run, and here I am,
I'm not going anywhere, and I went,

399
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:30.680
oh, oh, I wasn't expecting
this, And so you know there's

400
00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:36.400
that too. It was requiring of
me another level of vulnerability and commitment.

401
00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:41.960
And I was starting a dating coaching
business for women like me who had gone

402
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:45.359
through a divorce in their mid forties. And I was interviewing men all over

403
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:51.160
Dallas because I want to know their
opinion on women's dating profiles. And I

404
00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:56.359
meet from my now husband and I
was like, this wasn't planned, this

405
00:26:56.680 --> 00:27:00.720
was not the idea, and here
we are almost four years later. So

406
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:06.079
that took me into a whole other
level. And I remember really enriched my

407
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:11.000
work with the idea for couples because
it's really put that practice. It took

408
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:17.279
me from being single and developing my
self love and appreciation for that into what

409
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:21.240
it's done in my marriage. So
speaking of that, one of the other

410
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:23.720
things I wanted to ask you,
because you say somewhere in your book that

411
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:27.480
the book that you've written is is
largely for women and I certainly see that.

412
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:32.880
I also can certainly see how men
benefit too. Oh absolutely, I

413
00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:37.599
say for women, because I say
senual goddess. Now it's not gender specific

414
00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:41.480
at all. But I also believe
a lot of the information I share would

415
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:47.960
be so helpful to men who are
interested in relationships with women, or some

416
00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.039
of the information of my father in
law, retired physician, you know,

417
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:55.319
he said, a lot of this
is very helpful too from a physician's perspective

418
00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.279
because there's some very specific medical terms. But I think it's it's helped all

419
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:02.880
the way around. Like I said, I'm hoping to have more videos and

420
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:07.039
information on manuals on the website.
But I think the more information men can

421
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:11.200
have and learn about us, the
better it's going to be, and the

422
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:15.680
more equipped to you'd be to be
successful in the bedroom and out. I

423
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:18.319
like it, you know. I
like that little a little zesk goes a

424
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:22.119
long way for middle zest a little
say and a little body absolutely goes a

425
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.799
long way for me. All right, I want to I want to get

426
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:26.119
another quote from your book that I
thought was just so yummy, and have

427
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:30.920
you talk about that? So you
say, and I quote dynamic individual growth

428
00:28:30.920 --> 00:28:34.720
and transformation are available when a woman
fully connects with her sensuality and orgasmic potential.

429
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:38.640
When this happened, she inevitably experiences
a flood of new life force energy

430
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:44.079
plus the surge of creativity. This
typically creates a profound shift in her intimate

431
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:48.400
life that pours out of every part
of her world. Yes, say more

432
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:52.480
about that feels so good? Doesn't
it doesn't? I just love it?

433
00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:56.359
I know well, And I think
that was part of what I said about

434
00:28:56.359 --> 00:29:00.640
connecting to myself is you know,
I was really good. I should want

435
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:06.000
an oscar honestly about learning to fake
it? You know, honestly I was

436
00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.759
a sexual anorexic. I looked really
good and said it really well, but

437
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.759
honestly, that wasn't really my thing. And I felt like I was missing

438
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:17.039
out on something. And you know, I was like, how come everybody

439
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:18.480
else seem so happy? Why does
this sound so good? You know?

440
00:29:18.599 --> 00:29:22.319
And I just really felt like I
was missing out sound something. And I

441
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:25.960
was approaching my fortieth birthday and I
was like, there's something to this and

442
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:30.599
I really wanted to understand. And
the more I got in touch with myself

443
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:33.480
and the more in tune I got
with my body. The more I realized

444
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:40.920
it is a life force. It
is something to be cherished and to understand

445
00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:44.640
it is not a woman. When
she can connect with that life force,

446
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:49.000
she is unstoppable. She has a
glow about herself because once she can do

447
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:55.599
that for herself, she can show
her partner, and she is beyond capable

448
00:29:55.720 --> 00:30:00.519
of anything else. She is creative. She opens up all of her energy.

449
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.759
Well, and I really appreciate that. Understand that because you know the

450
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:07.519
work that I've done too, and
myself after I got divorced. As you

451
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:10.640
know, you were part of that
journey. And you're right. When you

452
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:14.720
cultivate that aspect of yourself, your
own creativity, your own sexuality, your

453
00:30:14.720 --> 00:30:18.680
own connection to your own being,
it is amazing what happens around creativity,

454
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:22.839
expression, your energy in life,
and who you draw into your circle.

455
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:26.279
It is amazing, absolutely, And
it's fun too, because there's been times

456
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:30.440
that I'll get dressed up and I'll
walk into just a Starbucks, even for

457
00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.960
something for fun and giggles, and
I'll just walk in and I'll just be

458
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:37.680
like, I want to see who's
going to look at me today? Just

459
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:40.519
for fun, And it's not because
I know I'm Mary it's not for that.

460
00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:44.359
And I know I'm a Grams,
but it's just who can I get

461
00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:47.799
to just you know, I just
want to feel sexy today. I just

462
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:51.319
want to feel powerful. I just
want to feel you know. And it's

463
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:56.240
that. It's nothing about wanting sex
with somebody. I just want to feel

464
00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:00.119
sassy. I just want to get
whatever it is. And you know it's

465
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.960
very helpful too. And what we
do for work speaking, we want that

466
00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:07.720
connection with our audience. It's nothing
to do with sex. It's we want

467
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:11.799
to have connection. We want to
be able to do that absolutely. In

468
00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:15.039
fact, what I was thinking about
when you were talking about that, Cherry

469
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.720
and I do that too, because
what either way I say that is that

470
00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:21.799
is you're flirting with life. You're
flirting with other people, and people on

471
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:25.720
the receiving the end of that are
catching your energy and so they're being seen

472
00:31:25.799 --> 00:31:30.000
too, right, And so it's
a beautiful exchange of energy and connection and

473
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:33.559
recognition of the other person that I
think is really beautiful and fun. And

474
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:36.960
to your point, it's not about
hey, I want to take you home

475
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:38.640
and have sex with you. It's
just about let's celebrate this moment you're in

476
00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:41.759
it. I'm in it with both
alive. This is amazing right to me,

477
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.440
and I don't even have words to
that. When you and I met,

478
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:48.079
we didn't even have words. We
just said, we like fell in

479
00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:51.640
love with each other. We didn't
even know we did, but we didn't

480
00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:55.640
know, you know, And now
we know the energy, you know,

481
00:31:55.720 --> 00:31:57.039
we know what that was. But
you know, back then we said we

482
00:31:57.079 --> 00:32:00.559
fell in love with each other,
which we did, but now it's so

483
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:04.519
much deeper, and I get it
now. I do too. In fact,

484
00:32:04.559 --> 00:32:07.720
I actually just recently learned what part
of is underneath that, and I'll

485
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:10.160
share it with you and the listeners
and viewers. It's called limbic resonance.

486
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:15.200
So what it's It turns out that
isn't that awesome limbic prisoness. There's actually

487
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:19.039
way you're for it. And so
what happens is our emotions and our meaning

488
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.160
systems register on the limbic brain level, and that's the mammal brain, so

489
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:27.759
the middle center brain. So what
happens is that's where our meaning is registered

490
00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:30.279
and it's anchored around an emotional topic
for us, that's its anchoring point.

491
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:34.160
That's why it reads so important for
us. And we feel the way that

492
00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:37.680
we do when with something is meaningful, and then when we're with other people

493
00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:42.079
who share a similar sort of sort
of meaning structure, what happens is our

494
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:45.640
limbic resonance is happening on the same
level. There's like a vibrational connection that

495
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:50.119
happens between people. Isn't that cool? That's cool? Yeah, cool,

496
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:52.759
Yeah, I like that. I
got to you might so me too.

497
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:57.920
That's I'm right. Let's let's and
on that note, let's go ahead and

498
00:32:57.920 --> 00:33:00.880
wrap our last break. I'm your
host at least as we're gonna with Sherry

499
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:05.160
elliott Eri. She is a sex
and intimacy empowerment coach, writer, blogger,

500
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.759
and teacher. She joined you today
from Frisco, Texas. We've been

501
00:33:07.799 --> 00:33:12.359
talking about her journey from survival to
thrible, and after the break, we're

502
00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:15.200
going to talk more about some of
the essential ingredients that she uses in her

503
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:19.759
work to ignite energy at Erotic Energy. Stay with us, We'll be right

504
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:24.480
back. Doctor Elise Cortes is a
management consultant specializing in meaning and purpose and

505
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:30.680
inspirational speaker and author. She helps
companies visioneer for greater purpose among stakeholders and

506
00:33:30.759 --> 00:33:38.359
develop purpose inspired leadership and meaning infused
cultures that elevate fulfillment, performance and commitment

507
00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:43.640
within the workforce. To learn more
or to invite Elise to speak to your

508
00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:47.519
organization, please visit her at elisecortes
dot com. Let's talk about how to

509
00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:59.000
get your employees working on purpose.
This is working on Purpose with doctor Elise

510
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:02.880
Cortes. To reach our program today
or open a conversation with Alise, send

511
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:10.639
an email to Alise Alise at elisecortes
dot com. Now back to working on

512
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:15.480
Purpose. Thanks for staying with us, and welcome back to working on purpose

513
00:34:15.559 --> 00:34:17.159
if you're just tuning in. My
guest is Sherry eliot Urie. She's a

514
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:22.719
recovered HR executive who lived in a
sexless marriage. After experiencing her own sexual

515
00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:25.559
healing and awakening in twenty fourteen,
she transformed her career path and it's now

516
00:34:25.559 --> 00:34:30.440
a full time sex and intimacy empowerment
coach, writer, blogger, and teacher.

517
00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:32.800
She's the author of the book called
sixty nine of My Dirtiest Secrets,

518
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:37.199
Awaken Your Centual Goddess. I'm your
host, Aalise Cortes. So let's get

519
00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:40.119
a little technical specific, shall we. We've been talking about this good,

520
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:44.719
juicy stuff called sex now let's go
a little bit deeper here under that.

521
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:49.519
So in your book, you offer
six essential ingredients that work together to ignite

522
00:34:49.559 --> 00:34:52.920
your erotic energy, personal power,
cential intelligence, to enable your sentual empowerment.

523
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:58.559
I love that, So share with
those those six ingredients and why they're

524
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:02.440
important components. I tried to look
back at, like what were the key

525
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:07.519
ingredients, like if I was making
a cake. And so the first one

526
00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:09.679
for me was emotion, and it
was like, dig up what you know

527
00:35:10.119 --> 00:35:14.719
when I looked at emotion and voice, and so first let's let's go to

528
00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:16.880
voice first. So like, dig
up your old story and you know,

529
00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:21.480
set it on fire. You know, I love my little opinion fire out

530
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:23.519
there that I use my little thing. Put it on in there, get

531
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:25.920
rid of it. Whatever that old
story is, get rid of it.

532
00:35:27.239 --> 00:35:30.559
Emotions, we can lock those up
in our body. And so whatever old

533
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:34.760
emotions you have around things in your
life, like it could be your divorce,

534
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:37.960
it could be sexual trauma, whatever
it happens to be, figure that

535
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:39.920
out and get rid of those.
You know, there's yoga you can get

536
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:43.360
rid of for trauma and the body, get rid of it because it's all

537
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:45.639
stored up in there. And that
baggage. You cannot bring that into new

538
00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:49.599
relationships. It's kind of heavy,
so you might want to figure out a

539
00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:52.960
way to release that old stuff.
And then our body. You know,

540
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:55.599
there's parts of my body. I
used to weigh two hundred and seventy pounds,

541
00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:59.760
pretty much double what I am today. You know there's times when I

542
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:02.599
still look in the mirror, I
still see that lady. So get real

543
00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:07.960
comfortable with who you are. Love
your body, Appreciate her for whoever,

544
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:10.840
or him, for whoever they happen
to be. Just make peace with her,

545
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:14.719
because him or her, because it's
not going to getty better, and

546
00:36:14.840 --> 00:36:20.199
just have to say things are getting
any different. Give yourself permission play.

547
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:25.119
Don't let anybody else's judgment for your
fantasies or you know what, set some

548
00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:29.079
parameters, some boundaries, but you
know what, go out and play.

549
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:32.079
If you're married, as long as
you're two consenting adults in a relationship or

550
00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:36.480
in a partnership, go out there
and have some fun, because that's what

551
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:40.000
it's supposed to be. Fun,
Okay, And then desire, what is

552
00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:45.280
your desire? Ignite It got to
say this book wasn't my first desire,

553
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:47.519
but now that I'm on that track. It's fun and I'm going to keep

554
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:51.320
doing it. So what is your
desire? Is it to write a book?

555
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:53.360
Is it to own a bed and
breakfast in another country? Do it?

556
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:58.440
Learn a new language, have fun
with it? Is then what is

557
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.920
your Then find out how embody that
zen? Do that, find out what

558
00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:07.960
tap into your zentual goddess and really
enjoy that. So those are the stients

559
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:12.519
that I came up with that helped
me determine what kept in to the zentual

560
00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:15.920
goddess and let me live my zentral
life. I love it. I love

561
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:17.639
it so much, and in part
because, as you know, when I'm

562
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:22.440
outspeaking to audiences and I talk about
the importance of passion, inspiration and purpose,

563
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:24.280
and when I ask the crowds,
what are you passionate about? Do

564
00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:28.719
you know what? The number one
response that I get is family. No,

565
00:37:29.159 --> 00:37:31.159
it's I don't know. They don't
know what they're passionate about. I

566
00:37:31.239 --> 00:37:34.960
know, I'm like, you get
this one precious life and you don't know

567
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.960
what you're passionate about. So I
really like that you've given us access through

568
00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:42.719
these six essential ingredients, because if
you can start to answer those questions for

569
00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:45.400
yourself, you open something and get
present to that space. Yes, and

570
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:47.800
that's where we get to the next
question that I think is really really cool

571
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:52.599
share is you talk about your use
of self discovery questions to determine where we've

572
00:37:52.599 --> 00:37:55.239
gotten complace it in life. I
really resonate with that, not just for

573
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:58.599
my own life book, that work
that I do with my customers and my

574
00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:01.559
clients. So seey more about that
self discovery process. Well, I like

575
00:38:01.639 --> 00:38:06.239
it because as I was putting them
together, I was thinking of some clients

576
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.559
and some friends and you know,
some conversations we've had over wine and some

577
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:15.360
evenings and just think about like where
have we checked out me included? And

578
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:17.760
that's how those questions came up,
Like when do we go on autopilot and

579
00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:21.760
we're just you know, going along
to get along? And that could be

580
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:24.639
including our work, you know,
whether it's partnerships, work, you know,

581
00:38:24.920 --> 00:38:30.119
and our and our self love,
connection in our in our physical fitness,

582
00:38:30.760 --> 00:38:32.960
because those have been a lot of
the different times. And so when

583
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.920
we get complacent, it's sometimes that's
when some of those warning bells go off,

584
00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:42.039
right, so we go Oh,
And I was listening to a lady

585
00:38:42.039 --> 00:38:44.800
this morning called into a talk room. She said, oh, it's been

586
00:38:44.920 --> 00:38:49.679
years since I had sex. Well, that complacency might have been like eighteen

587
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:52.599
months ago, if not longer.
That she should have had that warning bell,

588
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:57.800
you know those things. When we
get into complency, it gets so

589
00:38:58.239 --> 00:39:00.599
easy. Then we get into a
rut and then we need to dig out

590
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:02.840
of the ditch, and you know, it just gets worse. And so

591
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:07.800
that's why I thought those questions were
really helpful, because those would have been

592
00:39:07.880 --> 00:39:10.920
really easy for me back then.
Had I noticed that I was getting complacent

593
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:15.599
about maybe my exercise routine, about
my self care, Oh, I stopped

594
00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:19.199
going to see my friends, right, those are all things that are triggers.

595
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:22.039
Didn't let me know that I'm not
doing the self care I need to

596
00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.119
do, or I'm thinking somebody for
advantage. You know this because you've been

597
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:28.920
in my life for a long time. But I recognized very much that I

598
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:34.760
had fallen into a state of apathy
and complacency. You know, somewhere in

599
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:37.280
the beginning of twenty fifteen, I
had such a fantastic twenty fourteen, and

600
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:40.400
then twenty fifteen happened, And when
I look back on that share, I

601
00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:46.239
was absolutely an apathetic complacency, and
that was definitely feeling some kind of depression,

602
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:50.239
and part of it came from because
I knew I was not living the

603
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.679
life that I wanted for myself.
I wasn't going for my dreams, and

604
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:58.239
I hated myself for it, but
I was complacent in that and that toward

605
00:39:58.280 --> 00:39:59.880
the end of that year. Of
course, that's when I went to my

606
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.960
a horse process. So the result
of that, so I really the importance

607
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:06.760
of being able to get present of
that sooner rather than later so you can

608
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:09.159
do something about it is essential.
Yeah, Yeah, And that's one of

609
00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:13.880
the reasons I thought some of those
questions kind of gave us an idea of

610
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:16.840
where are we with it? Because
it is easier sometimes to stay in the

611
00:40:16.840 --> 00:40:22.000
boat instead of like rocking it right. Well, we have a nice home,

612
00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:24.880
we have a nice life, and
everything's okay, And that's why it's

613
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:28.719
hard to go, well, why
don't we start rocking it and start asking

614
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.960
questions? It's like, well,
why should we right right right right by

615
00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:36.000
the way before we forget? I
have to know, I've got a burning

616
00:40:36.119 --> 00:40:40.360
question. In your book, you
talk about having being out at a restaurant

617
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:44.679
eating with one of your friends and
she has such a gusto for eating.

618
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:53.280
Is it me you? Of course
it is. I read that eating.

619
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:57.840
It's like making a lot of the
food absolutely right, and it trans ind

620
00:40:57.920 --> 00:41:00.480
let me tell you, it's the
same appidiet that goes there everywhere. So

621
00:41:01.639 --> 00:41:07.559
I wanted you she's talking about me. I wouldn't have mind if you use

622
00:41:07.599 --> 00:41:10.280
my name, But okay, then
I'll put your name in now that I

623
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:15.920
have permission absolutely on air. Listeners
and viewers you heard it, so you

624
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:17.480
know, it's kind of like when
you have a hairy Mit selling moment right

625
00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:21.079
in the restaurant, right, that's
me. I can do that, Yes,

626
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:27.119
at least could with food. It's
a good example about enjoying life to

627
00:41:27.159 --> 00:41:30.159
the fullest. So that's the point. It can be food, it could

628
00:41:30.199 --> 00:41:34.760
be anything. It could be the
travel. And this is you know,

629
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:37.320
this is one of my favorite things. Is like, if you're gonna have

630
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:39.199
water, why not even just put
it in a beautiful wine glass. I'm

631
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:43.079
not having wine right now, but
I have spaw water right here at home

632
00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:46.360
in a beautiful wine glass. We
can still do fun things to treat ourselves

633
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:51.679
well. It just doesn't have to
be some day. We can drive,

634
00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:57.199
we can do great things to do
this self care every day. In fact,

635
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:59.880
let's talk about that. Let's grab
that real quick, because I've been

636
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.440
having a lot of conversations with people
in this pandemic who are not taking time

637
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:06.320
for self care because they feel like, well, I'm stuck at home anyway,

638
00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:07.199
Who's going to notice it? I
don't know through my camera on if

639
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:10.519
I'm on a zoom call. And
what happens is that just makes it worse.

640
00:42:10.559 --> 00:42:15.639
We get more, we get further
down down the downward spiral. We

641
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:19.400
do actually take the time to take
care of ourselves. Put makeup on us

642
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:22.719
for us women, you know,
put on an decent nice shirt and shave

643
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:25.239
men for you right, looking at
you, Look at your beautiful ear rings,

644
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:29.559
the beautiful lipstick. Right, these
things make a difference to how we

645
00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:34.039
feel and how we care for ourselves. Yes, absolutely, And you know,

646
00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:37.559
having worked at home for so many
years, unless you know, before

647
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:42.440
when we could go out and speak
and train, the days I would work

648
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.920
at home office, I still had
to do the hair in the makeup thing

649
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:50.360
because I didn't feel like I was
at my job unless I did dress up

650
00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:53.599
and show up. And so that's
always been important to me and about the

651
00:42:53.639 --> 00:42:58.760
first three or four weeks of COVID
trust me, the sweatpants, the ponytail,

652
00:42:58.840 --> 00:43:01.239
the no makeup was a big thing. But about the fourth week I

653
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:06.519
went because my husband worked from home
too, and I didn't think that was

654
00:43:06.559 --> 00:43:10.119
fair to him to have to see
this face that way every day. You

655
00:43:10.159 --> 00:43:14.639
know, honestly, that would be
a rut and that would be complacency.

656
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:17.320
Totally understand that. In fact,
I address for my man too. I

657
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:21.320
mean, that's just that's important.
It says I respect you, and I

658
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:24.920
respect myself and I care about us. So yes, exactly, I want

659
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:28.480
to make sure that we presence this
for our listeners and viewers. And how

660
00:43:28.519 --> 00:43:31.800
you talk about intimacy, you say
it includes feelings of closeness, safety,

661
00:43:31.800 --> 00:43:37.199
connectedness, and truth. That's intense. Say more. Yeah. There's a

662
00:43:37.239 --> 00:43:43.199
great quote by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
She wrote the invitation and she says,

663
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:46.199
do you like who you are when
you're alone? In those quiet moments?

664
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:51.239
And that's one of my favorite quotes
by her. And the other one is

665
00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:55.960
are you willing to risk hurting another
to honor yourself? And for the longest

666
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:59.039
time, that second one just freaked
me out because I was like, what

667
00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:01.199
do you mean? And it was
really like, are you willing to hurt

668
00:44:01.280 --> 00:44:06.519
someone else to be really true to
who you are and what you need?

669
00:44:06.920 --> 00:44:12.039
And that to me spoke volumes about
intimacy and really honoring who you are.

670
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:15.599
Can you be alone in those quiet
moments like when the lights go out at

671
00:44:15.719 --> 00:44:19.760
night and when you are single and
you live alone? Do you like the

672
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:23.280
person you are? That was a
really big question and I wrote that in

673
00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:28.960
my journal a lot after I became
single. Do I like who I am?

674
00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:32.480
To me, that was the ultimate
intimacy question. Do I like the

675
00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:37.039
person I'm showing up as in my
work with my friends, all of it?

676
00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:42.039
I like that? That's beautiful?
And intimacy is such a yummy thing,

677
00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:45.960
right, Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy. It's just so It's such a

678
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.639
beautiful part of life we've been given
and being able to access it is so

679
00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:52.000
important. Again, all the more
reason that the work you're doing is important.

680
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.519
And I want you to say something
about the c GEL network you created.

681
00:44:55.559 --> 00:44:59.679
That's fantastic. What's that all about? Yeah? I decided that I

682
00:44:59.719 --> 00:45:04.280
wanted to start interacting more with I
get these questions a lot when I'm out

683
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:06.760
with people and they find out this
is the work I've been involved in,

684
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:09.000
and I'm stepping into it one hundred
percent now. So I thought, well,

685
00:45:09.199 --> 00:45:12.840
now with COVID, we can't really
see each other very often, so

686
00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:17.159
I would start a Facebook group for
ze Out for people asking questions and wanting

687
00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:21.760
to have online forums once a week
and so that should be out next week

688
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:24.000
and we'll have a great little Facebook
group where we can have one on one

689
00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:29.679
dialogue. And just because we can't
do one on one FaceTime, so we

690
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:32.079
might as well do it on the
Facebook group. I like it. I

691
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:36.239
like it. And then you will
have a line of candles and other products

692
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:38.159
coming out as well. So it's
not enough here to be speaking and writing

693
00:45:38.199 --> 00:45:43.440
and handling people's intimate sex lives.
Where also got candles going. That's awesome,

694
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:45.199
Well not just candles, but I
wanted to, you know, for

695
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:50.000
me, when I start doing self
love and appreciation and making sure I want

696
00:45:50.079 --> 00:45:52.880
to take good care of myself and
setting the mood, candles were a big

697
00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:57.760
thing for me. That set the
mood and bath products and all that way

698
00:45:58.159 --> 00:46:01.880
and so smells and the perfect light
and then also making sure they were healthy.

699
00:46:02.239 --> 00:46:08.239
And so I've started researching and doing
some relationships for candles. Zentual Pleasures

700
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:13.800
is the name of the company that
I started for a different line of candles

701
00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:19.760
and bath products that will be under
the Zentual gal umbrella. So it's been

702
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:22.920
fun exploring that. I love it. I love it. I can't wait

703
00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:27.519
for samples. Absolutely, So we're
at the end already. Share. So

704
00:46:27.639 --> 00:46:30.840
you know what the show is all
about, helping people find meaning, passion,

705
00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:32.039
inspiration and purpose in their lives and
their work. What do you want

706
00:46:32.039 --> 00:46:37.760
to leave listeners with. I want
people to remember that, as you say,

707
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:40.880
they have one precious life. Embrace
who you are, Love who you

708
00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:45.760
are, and go out and shine
in this world. Share. It is

709
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:47.960
such a miracle to get to be
your friend. I'm grateful that you came

710
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:52.039
on the show. You're sharing what
you're doing in the world and important work

711
00:46:52.039 --> 00:46:53.800
that you're doing, and you're really
putting yourself out there and I'm ready to

712
00:46:53.840 --> 00:46:58.679
appreciate. Love you and chair issue. Thanks for having me, Love you

713
00:46:58.760 --> 00:47:01.440
too, Thank you. Welcome listeners. If you want to learn more about

714
00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:05.639
Sherry, her journey to surviving to
thriving, and the work she does as

715
00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:08.840
a sex and intimacy empowerment coach or
her book. Visit her at zentualgal dot

716
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:14.039
com. So that is spelled z
e n s U l A s u

717
00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:17.639
A L gal g A L right
share Is that right? Yeah? Zentualga

718
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:22.599
l dot com scentual gl Okay.
So last week, if you missed the

719
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:24.039
live show you I was catching you
recorded podcast. We were on the o

720
00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:28.320
Danny Gutnek, who is the CEO
of Pathways, and we were talking about

721
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:30.519
his fascinating book called Meaning at Work
in Its Hidden Language. That's where I

722
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:34.519
learned about Limbit Residence. By the
way, next week we'll be on the

723
00:47:34.519 --> 00:47:37.639
air with Steve Brown. He's the
author of The Innovation Ultimatum, which is

724
00:47:37.639 --> 00:47:39.639
the subject of our conversation. So
you're there that work is at least of

725
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:47.719
their real life. So let's work
on Purpose. We hope you've enjoyed this

726
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:52.400
week's program. Be sure to tune
in to Working on Purpose featuring your host,

727
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:58.760
doctor Elise Cortes, each week on
the Voice America Empowerment Channel. Together,

728
00:47:59.079 --> 00:48:05.519
we'll create a world where business operates
conscientiously, leadership inspires impassioned performance,

729
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:09.320
and employees are fulfilled in work that
provides the meaning and purpose. They crave

730
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:13.639
see you there. Let's work on
purpose.